Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Do NOT Ask this Man for Relationship Advice...

Because, you know, Gay Men know all bout Heterosexual sex, and stuff.

Don't know who Stephen Fry is, don't really give a shit, either. However, someone who could say something like this:

‘If women liked sex as much as men, there would be straight cruising areas in the way there are gay cruising areas,’ he said.Women would go and hang around in churchyards thinking, "God, I’ve got to get my ******* rocks off", or they’d go to Hampstead Heath and meet strangers to s**g behind as bush. It doesn’t happen. Why? Because the only women you can have sex with like that wish to be paid for it.’

...has probably spent his entire adult life fucking other men in the rectum. Probably more time receiving than giving,if you ask me. This is, indeed, the very last person I would ask about all things heterosexual.

First of all, his theory is fundamentally incorrect in this regard; modern women, brainwashed by feminism, practically give sex away as an exercise in "personal growth". All day, every day. and no cash has to change hands. Confused, conflicted females with no self esteem nor values abound. They're not all that hard to find. Low-hanging fruit. I could practically trip over all the stray vaginas on my way to the bathroom each morning, if I didn't have some standards and scruples. Thankfully, I do have some, and the days when I saw women as little more than a convenient place to park a boner are long gone (it's called "Growing Up". Some of us Men actually do it, you know).

Second, the reason why there's Gay cruising areas -- out in the open -- is that Homosexuals are sick individuals, who in part become homosexuals because they wish to reject and shock the sensibilities of conventional society. They do this because most of the homosexual men that I know are insatiable attention whores. They want you to know, in the loudest, gaudiest, most unmistakable fashion that they not only reject common moral values and sensibilities, they want to rub conventional society's collective nose in it, as well. It gives them a high to piss people off on such a visceral level. It's part of the whole twisted mentality.

There ARE straight "cruising areas", however, Mr. Fry probably doesn't recognize them because there isn't a 6' 4" douchebag in size-14 Kenneth Coles dressed up as Carmen Miranda, singing torch songs, no ankle-deep puddle of infected semen on the floor, no loose scabs, and no men in eyeshadow, platform shoes and sequins drawing out their sibilant essess over the background noise of extremely bad European techno, clinking Appletini glasses. Probably less drug use, too.

Quite frankly, it's been my experience that the best places to meet women have absolutely nothing to do with a social setting or party-like atmosphere, at all. The traditional Heterosexual Cruising Areas, like singles bars, booze cruises, etc., are perhaps the worst places to find decent babes, because those women went out with the intention of getting drunk and taken advantage of. They're almost daring you to do so. Don't even think of finding "a good woman" in church; She's there because she feels guilty about something, after all. No, if you want to find decent women, give those places a very wide berth and start looking in the most unconventional places you can imagine.

Places Mr. Fry would not recognize as "Cruising Areas" because there aren't any used hypodermics to step on, no one scooping peanuts out of the bar bowl with the same hand he's just jerked some anonymous douchebag with, and no Village People playing in the background.

The laundromat.

The Supermarket.

The Library.

The Local Dog walk.

The best way to score easy lays with no emotional connection or responsibilities is to have (like I do) a female best friend who also happens to be a drinking buddy, and insists on telling all your would-be conquests -- in that conspiratorially-female way when you leave for the restroom that "He's the best I've ever had...". Who needs a "Wingman" when you have a gold-plated reference like that? Now THAT'S a friend! It's almost a slam-dunk at that point.

Anyways, to get back to Mr. Fry's original, tortured, clueless point:

Women DO enjoy sex, Mr. Fry...when you do it properly. The problem (from a woman's point of view)is that most men don't. Then again, Modern Man has also been bathed in the atmosphere created by Modern Feminism, and he's done what he was done since the species first walked upright: he's adapted to the environment, and learned to take advantage of the resources available to him. The mixture of Feminism and a culture of moral relativism have combined to make women so lonely, so bitter, so confused, so fucking stupid, that even a misshapen lump like me has to, sometimes, beat them off with a stick. Why? Because we have learned how "to listen" (i.e. let her talk her fucking head off about anything and everything, while controlling the impulse to look at your watch), we have learned how to be "attentive" to her moods and needs (i.e. pretend to give a shit about her innermost thoughts and feelings), we have learned how to nod, and say "I agree" to whatever load of crap she's shovelling this evening. That, after all, is what Oprah, Cosmo, and the other "women's forums" tells them is what they need most in a man.

If men suck (no pun intended) at sex, it's because they've been conditioned to do it in a haphazard manner. Why make the effort to do it properly when this broad won't be here after breakfast? And she'll still be grateful?

We've learned to pretend to give them what they've been told they want. That's the key to the whole operation; I can get laid every day of the week and twice on Sunday by simply assuming my "Nice Guy" persona. It's not difficult to find women upon who this charade works.

However, for some of us, that is simply not enough. It certainly isn't enough for me; I'm past that stage in life where I can overlook "Miss Right" for "Miss Right-Now". I could spend an entire day screwing, as a mechanical function, but it doesn't satisfy for very long. Besides, it's hardly a challenge, and that, after all, should be part of the equation.

Sex, Mr. Fry, is easy to find. Someone you can stand to spend more than a few hours with without the urgent need to get naked, do the deed, and then send her packing, is a completely different beast altogether.

Never ask a Gay Man for an opinion on a heterosexual matter. It's like asking your plumber about your colon cancer.

(H/T Instapundit and HotAir)

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