Wednesday, February 03, 2010

The End of the Religious Right?

Vis-a-vis the recent victory of Scott Brown in the Massachusetts Senate special election; Conservatives (of the God, Guns and Gays variety) have been crowing for two weeks now that a "real" Conservative has been elected, and this proves that the country is moving "to the right".

Frankly, I think this has always been a right-of-center country, it's just that every so often some event takes place to shake people's confidence, and then they panic and do dumb things. Like vote for a guy with a resume so thin you wouldn't hire him as night shift manager at the local Taco Bell. Eventually, they realize the error of their ways, and they correct their mistakes. Scott Brown is simply one of the first opportunities to correct a mistake.

Anyways, here's a few things that "Real Conservatives" -- the Rush-listenin'-flannel-wearing, tobaccy-chewin'-God-fearing-gay-bashin'-RPG-ownin'-NASCAR-lovin'-Gee-my-first-cousin-has-a-purty-mouth-sort-of-Real Conservative-that-doesn't-have-a-thought-in-his-head-that- didn't-originate-in-Scripture -- not the I'm-calling-myself-a-conservative-because-I-liked-Reagan-but-otherwise-couldn't-find-my-own-ass-with-both-hands-and-a-flashlight-or-tell-you-what-Conservatism-is-Conservative-- should think about:

First off; Scott Brown is Pro-choice. I've been told a million times that "no Real Conservative could be Pro-choice". It's why Rudy Giuliani or Mitt Romney will never be elected President, or even garner the republican nomination (Romney changed his pro-life stance -- and so did George H.W. Bush! -- but then Romney was found guilty of that other Conservative no-no; flip-flopping. This crime, changing your mind, it seems, is considered worse than child rape to a Real Conservative...despite the fact that you now agree with him! )That you once held a contradictory opinion is enough for you to be sentenced to a lifetime of RINO-Pink-Repub-Fag-Lover insults from the Right Wing Taliban.

As of this particular moment, I wonder just how many of those "Real Conservatives" still don't know that Scott Brown is Pro-choice? I wonder what they'll have to say when they find out? I would also like to be a fly on the wall when the rash of "new, energized, Conservative" candidates that Micheal Steele (another idiot) is talking up finally arrives. Those that run this November will mostly be Fiscal Conservatives, many of whom could give a flyin' fuckin' fig about Abortion or Gay Marriage. They're all about cutting budgets and killin' Arabs. . After all, this is the country's current temperature: we want people who'll snip coupons, scrounge pennies and pour over the books in Washington, in order to set the fiscal house in order. Candidates who want to Kill Terrorists by the Thousands. And the things that "Real Conservatives" care about -- like who's fucking who and the question of whether the act and position may fall under any Scriptural prohibition -- will fall by the wayside.

Then again, perhaps someone did know, because the republican party (proving once again that it has the ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory) went ahead and set up a regime to enforce strict Conservative Orthodoxy; any candidate running as a republican who doesn't represent the entire party platform will not receive money or aid from the RNC. Classic republican stupidity; at a time when the possibility of finally vanquishing liberalism for a very long time finally arrives in the issue of fiscal restraint, the God, Guns and Gays wing of the party makes sure that if you aren't front-and-center on abortion and gay rights, you're pretty much on your own.

I'm certain those candidates who may have been put on notice absolutely jumped for fuckin' joy when they heard this. Because now they can run with help from the Tea Parties around the country, and don't have to rely on the republican brand which leaves just as bad a taste in people's mouths as does the current democratic party. This November, whenever a liberal democrat tries to tie one of these candidates -- the ones that espouse republican ideals, but don't have republican backing because they're social moderates -- to the evil republicans, he can quite honestly say "fuck Them, I'm running as an Independant!", and can then point to the lack of Republican party support for their campaigns and candidacies.

Unless these guys seem about to win with a week or less to go before Election Day, in which case, the Republican Party will, belatedly, parachute in to help him "cross the goal line", and pretend that it supported the winning candidate all along. It's good for that sort of transparent front-running, just like democrats were when they dumped The Haircut (Edwards) for Hitlery, and then abandoned her like a $5 hooker for the Obamatard.

Does all of this spell the end of the Religious Right as a force in American Politics? Probably not: at present, people's priorities are simply being re-ordered, and God fell down the list...somewhere between "Try to keep my house", "learn how to darn socks" and "acquire a taste for canned goods". Abortion and Gay Rights fell with Him, and so, the influence of the Religious Right is lessened, but they will be back; when the country is flush with cash, and things are relatively stable, and people have time to devote to fantasies of Invisible Man in the Sky, who's supposedly-omniscient, but somehow always broke...

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